The morning after
by scaetterling
Summary: He should be feeling completely different. He was sure he should. Clearly, if he only knew how.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Network.

 **A/N:** This is a bit untypical for me. Normally my stories are centered around Faith. Well, this is an idea that had to get out. I wrote it quite a while ago, just translated it recently. Soo... have fun and enjoy.

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 **The morning after**

Actually he should feel completely different. He was sure he should.

He always imagined that it would be incisive and outstanding, a truly gigantic experience. It was a step that guys like him go through just once in a lifetime, this transition from a nancy boy to a solid man. Well, if you don't suffer from memory loss, but that's irrelevant, isn't it.

He had sex. From now on he had experiences. There weren't many but he wasn't a unskilled schoolboy either. And still he didn't fell like he expected to.

Euphoric, blissful, ecstatic and totally amped. So true, but still something was missing. Which feeling he was missing, he didn't know, but it should be different to what he was feeling right now.

He was standing in his room and didn't know what to do or where to start.

He returned the Chevrolet in the same night. That car had just brought him bad luck. There were better methods to pose as a though guy. And the gas bills were beyond his weekly pocket money to tell the truth.

Now he was standing next to his bed. Alone and a little confused. Okay, okay, totally confused, but there was no one to witness it.

He had sex less then two hours ago. With Faith. THE Faith. The dream of his sleepless nights. And to be honest also starring some of his daydreams. Well, let's face it, she was one dream of his sleepless nights. The others were reserved for Buffy. And Willow. That kiss had fired his imagination.

But Faith seem to be as unreachable as Buffy and Willow.

That super sexy vixen. She was hot like Cordelia and her remarks oscillated between biting sarcasm and shameless flirting. She played with the benefits of a slayer so brazenly like Buffy would never dare to. Self-indulgent and unattached. Using her charms to reach her goals. How could anybody resent his fantasies. He was just a normal guy.

Clumsily he peeled of his jacket and let it fall to the ground.

Faith had kept her words. She had shown him the way. And unexpectedly she had taken her time, a lot of time. At one point he was so nervous that his whole body was shaking. He was so sure that she would laugh at him any second. So inexperienced compared to her skills. But she just smiled a bit awry. A kiss found his lips, a lot softer than the earlier one and not as demanding. A little gift from her and suddenly his strain lessen bit by bit.

And WOW. This woman could kiss.

She had steered him around the curves. And he wasn't ashamed because her help was more than wanted. With all those stories her knowledge had to be inexhaustibly. His main fear had always been to fail. His first time – embarrassing, stupid and without any attraction. Well, that was something Faith had really saved him from. From that point of view the sex with her was perfect.

But still something was missing. It didn't felt real. Almost as if he hadn't participated and maybe only been a bystander. He was missing the the proper feeling, the right emotion.

His shirt landed on top of his jacket, his jeans and shoes two steps aside.

It was not like the breathtaking sex had left him unaffected, definitely not. And god knows he got his share. At least three times, as far as he could trust his blurred memories. And Faith had fun too. Intoxicating and ferine she outmatched his wildest fantasies. In this regard they both benefited from this ride. And maybe that was the thing that disturbed him the most. They had used each other. She had used him and he had used her.

He could not and did not want to blame it all on her because the things she offered that night, he took without a second thought. It would have never been so unproblematic to lose his virginity to someone else. She offered her trust in this situation like anyone else ever could. After all she's Faith. He couldn't blame her. They met at the right time. End of story.

His boxers slipped to the ground.

He always imagined that his first time would be with his first love. You know, the classic conception of every suburban kid. Go to the movies or maybe a romantic dinner and afterwards reach the climax together in intimate togetherness, the three magic words already on the lips.

Did he really think it would happen like that? He was a dreamer, for sure, but not that dumb, right?! Helloooo?! Reality!

But why did he feel so confused. He should be feeling completely different. Clearly, if he only knew how. He gauged himself in the mirror. He could still the the traces of sex on his body.

Annoyed of his inner debate he turned away and trudged into the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe the hot water could put an end to his racing thoughts. He could really need a little peace right now.

~~~ fin ~~~


End file.
